The World of AF Grant

Holotropic Breathwork Round 6: The Joyous Millipede

noreply@blogger.com (AF Grant) — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 01:26:00 +0000

Yesterday I took part in my sixth Holotropic Breathwork experience and it was the most fun-filled one yet. My prior experiences have ranged from traumatic roller coaster rides of emotion with lots and lots of tears to extremely blissful meditations free of any visuals or sensations.

In fact, my prior session in September 2011 was so uneventful I was in no rush to breathe again. Luckily, I've turned Lori onto this and she wanted to do it again. This weekend was her fourth time and the third time we were partners. In Holotropic Breathwork each breather is teamed up with a sitter for a breathing session, then roles are switched for the next session so each person does both roles before the day is done.

Lori went first and seemed to have a very happy and content experience. Her hands flowed and danced about while she had a big beaming smile on her face for almost the entire first hour. Then she went into a long period of stillness and quiet only to have a more visible experience singing and sliding about on her mat for another twenty minutes before being quite and still again until the music stopped after 2 1/2 hours.

This round for me was the first time I truly had no expectations. I had already had life changing experiences and experiences that felt like glorified naps, whatever was going to show up today - I was cool with it. I was rewarded with a very cool and joyous ride. It was the most flat out fun I've ever had in breathwork. There wasn't a single tear shed.

The music is a huge component of breathwork and the soundtrack was full of great tribal drumming and the most vocalization I'd encountered. None of it was in English, but I was converting some of it into messages that fueled my experience.

I don't really recall the music starting. There was a point I felt like I'd just landed on the mat, noticed the music was cranking and I thought I better get my breath cranking because I have no idea how long I've zoned out for. I started my deep, non-stop breathing and the music had all sorts of singing in some language, I'll guess Hindi, that started creating the most amazing scene. It was a combination of Muppet sort of folks, dozens of Plush Larry's, and the Star Wars cantina band. Characters were all sorts of shapes and sizes, a few blue puffy guys were even playing the cello. I was smiling so much, filled with such joy and entertainment I was laughing out loud as I lay on the mat with my eyes closed. This "show" went on for a while and it felt like the most fun I could ever have inside my head - or where ever this was happening. At times all the Plush Larry's created a chorus and were singing to the music playing in the room.

At one point I realized I was a millipede and I was racing through the jungle trying to get to the source of the music before the song stopped. It was a very tribal sounding piece of music with some singing and I wanted to find the people and join in on the fun. On the mat I was moving my feet, legs and shoulders a lot - in fact Lori later told me I was moving my mat and lots of the stuff around me, but my arms weren't used. Which makes perfect sense since I was a millipede. As the tempo of the music sped up I moved faster and faster, yet my millipede self never felt panicked. He was so digging the music, full of joy, he/I just hoped to find the party before they stopped. At one point I burst out laughing again because I saw an old blue VW bus and Hurley from Lost was driving. He yelled out an encouraging, "Dude!" to me and was gone.

The music changed to another track but it was close enough in theme to keep my millipede-self going and I came upon a fire where a bunch of natives were dancing and celebrating. I tried to stand up and join in. I wanted to dance with them. But millipedes can't stand up. I kept trying and falling down. But there was no sense of frustration. There was never a time when I was going to give up. Trying was fun. It made me think about learning to walk - that kids just keep trying and the trying is fun. During the time I'm shifting, squirming and shimming up and down my mat and I was going into a bridge pose trying to get my millipede self standing up. It was an insane amount of fun.

My mandala March 10, 2012

Next thing I recall was that my legs turned to roots and I became one with the earth. I started having a bit of ayahuasca flashbacks and swear that old taste was in my mouth as I became a plant and then the earth. So I was the entire planet for a while, knowing, realizing and feeling that all the creatures and people I had seen were me. They were part of me and created by me all at the same time. Then some metamorphosis happened I shot up into the sky as pure energy and spent something between 20 minutes and a millennia soaring through the cosmos and floating amongst the stars.

Pretty, pretty cool.

Live Workshop: Energy Tools To Rock Your Life!

noreply@blogger.com (AF Grant) — Sun, 04 Mar 2012 22:52:00 +0000

I happily announce my premiere workshop, “Energy Tools To Rock Your Life” on Thursday April 5, 2012 at Heaven on Earth in Pembroke Ma.
To register online CLICK HERE

Do you ever feel scattered, disconnected or scared to take the next step in your life?
Imagine being centered, focused and excited about your journey.

Do you ever feel disempowered, not heard or maybe even invisible to the world?
Imagine reclaiming your personal power, decreasing struggle and creating your life instead of reacting to it.
See yourself living a life free of doubts, fears and limitations.

As Oprah said in her farewell show:
“You are responsible for the energy that you create for yourself, and you’re responsible for the energy that you bring to others….All life is energy and we are transmitting it at every moment. We are all beaming little signals like radio frequencies, and the world is responding in kind.”

Energy work is much better experienced than explained and this evening will be all about experiences. You will experience your own energy. You will learn tools that you can use on a daily basis to better your life; such as how to get yourself present in any moment, to feel more grounded, to tap into the joy of life. You will learn how to reclaim your own power and better create boundaries so you will no longer feel like some people suck the life out of you. There will also be laser coaching for a brave volunteer or two, discussion about other modalities such as EFT and Ho’oponopono and plenty of Q&A.

Come out and play!

April 5, 2012 Energy Tools to Rock Your Life 6:30 – 9:00 p.m.
Andy Grant Heaven On Earth Pembroke, Ma $45 (for 1) $40 (2 or more)
Register Online CLICK HERE

10 Years with The Patriots at Gillette Stadium

noreply@blogger.com (AF Grant) — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 17:49:00 +0000

My seat of 10 years at Gillette Stadium

Back in August of 2000 we signed a 10 year contract for four Club Seats in the under-construction new home of the Patriots, which after first being named CMGI Field, became known as Gillette Stadium. As I pass the time waiting for Super Bowl 46 tonight, I've been reminiscing.

Our journey with the Patriots began with tickets to the AFC Divisional Playoff game on January 19, 2002. The final game at the old Foxboro Stadium. The game which came to be known as The Snow Bowl (or the Tuck Rule game for Raider's fans) and started the legends of Tom Brady, Bill Belichik and Adam Vinatieri. Lori passed on going so I got to bring three of my best friends. Lori never passed on another game.

Lori says goodbye to her seat.

Our final game was the AFC Championship game between the New England Patriots and the Baltimore Ravens on January 22, 2012. I really let all the details soak in since I knew it was our last game. Loved the "Go Pats" written on the belly of the transport plane that did the flyover during the National Anthem. The anthem was performed by Steven Tyler who then sat in owner Robert Kraft's suite, which was just over our head, and the big screen cameras found him every time an Aerosmith song was played during the game. He would get up and shimmy and sing along with the whole crowd - very fun. Another treat was the honorary captains - four of my favorite Patriots; Tedy Brushci, Drew Bledsoe, Troy Brown and Ty Law. They too all were in the owners box and anytime they stood up the crowd went nuts and the old familiar cheers of "DREEEEEEW" or "BRUUUUUUUSHCI" would erupt. I loved every time the Minutemen fired the muskets (took me a few years before that stopped making me jump, and I always enjoyed noticing opponents get freaked out by the guns). Also noticed how they started using more pyro for field goals once it became apparent how the game was going to unfold.

We brought Larry The Lizard so he could enjoy his seat one more time and took pictures throughout the stadium. The Patriots have won every game he's ever attended.

The reason my family of two bought four club seats was because that was the only way to guarantee Super Bowl tickets if the Patriots ever made it to the big game. So before the new stadium was even open we were able to go to Super Bowl 36 - the most amazing sports event I've ever attended. We went just hoping for a competitive game, we left with the foundation of a football dynasty. I still get chills watching any clip from that game. I thought it was a once in a lifetime experience.

Then we went to Super Bowl 38, this time as VIPs with the team. We were guests at the Patriot's victory party following the game. AMAZING! Robert and Myra Kraft walked right by me with the Lombardi Trophy. We mingled with Willie McGinest, ( Willie's family sat a few rows in front of us at all the home games) Jarvis Green, Ty Law (he owned the two seats next to me for his last couple years with Pats), Matt Light... Lori got to meet her favorite player, Ted Johnson. Aerosmith and Kid Rock played live. And I'll never forget listening to Rodney Harrison telling the story of breaking his arm in the game but not being able to get off the field and having to make another play.

I had a bad feeling in the undefeated season of 2007 and sold my tix to Super Bowl 42, very glad I did. I sold them to a friend who was a Giants fan, so I could at least feel happy for someone after the game. I feel so gross when forced to see clips from that game, but the Giants earned it. That David Tyree catch that I can't watch was awe inspiring.

Celebrating another AFC Championship, 2012

I am so grateful to the entire Patriots organization, the NFL (even when they threatened to sue me in 2006 for images on this very website), to Cisco stock for making it financially possible, the fans who sat around me, especially my boy Chuck Smith and his family who bought the four seats behind me and shared many games and two Super Bowl trips with us, to our friends and family we brought to games, to all those who bought tickets from me (I really like you, LOL), to the players families we got to know in the Club, for eight (I think) home playoff games, five Super Bowl appearances, seeing three championship banners raised, two live Super Bowl experiences, one undefeated regular season, and one totally sick Halloween/Anniversary party.... "WOW!" is all I can say.

Still hard to believe. Ten years of Patriots games and they went to the Super Bowl five of those years. Stunning! Beyond all expectations. These are the good old days. How can it get any better than this?

Everyone's Human

noreply@blogger.com (AF Grant) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 23:25:00 +0000

Time for me to come clean about why I haven't made a video in three months. I've learned that I don't have to be perfect in order to help, teach and serve others. I'm human just like you. I'll always have doubts and insecurities to face because the only constant in life is change. I'm not a fraud because I still may struggle at times. In fact, I'd be a huge fraud if I claimed to never struggle.

I was so resistant to doing this video that the technology seems to have felt it too. Forgive the slight sync issues with the audio/video. I think the essence comes across regardless.

Wishing you a fantastic new year!

Totally Awesome To Be Alive!

noreply@blogger.com (AF Grant) — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 01:20:00 +0000

Saturday was my fifth experience with Holotropic Breathwork, the fourth time in the past year, and the second time Lori and I teamed up as partners. Once again it was unlike any prior time. I fell into a very deep meditative state even before the music and breathing was supposed to start. Suddenly I found myself laying on my mat, realizing the tribal music was cranking and I needed to get breath fast and deep. I had no idea how much time had passed and I thought "Oh no! I'm missing it." This went on a few times, I thought I wasn't getting much out of it. I had very few conscious memories or experiences. I was either in the room thinking I was missing it or I was in some zone so deep I got no "story" from it. I remember laughing out loud a few times at my thoughts that I wasn't getting anything - some part of me knew better. A few times when the bass of the music had the floor vibrating it felt like every cell of mine was vibrating and ascending. As I floated above into some golden dimension, I took one step forward and completely lost my balance and "landed" back on the mat, in the room, with the music cranking and people breathing and wailing around me. I laughed again. I felt like, ah you think you are ready for this enlightenment? Think again kid! I was considering opening my eyes with a disapointed feeling when the music stopped. Three hours had gone by - wow. Yesterday I felt out of it, wondering what was I integrating since I didn't have much memory of things happening. But today I woke up feeling so ALIVE, so AWESOME that I declared it to be Totally Awesome To Be Alive Day.

Lori enjoyed her experience and looked gorgeous as she went on her ride. She was doing all sorts of cool motions with her hands, sort of a mix of sculpting and dancing at times. She sat up on a number of occasions and it took all my control not to wrap her up in a hug. Her session ended really cool as the creator of this process and a founding father of Transpersonal Psychology, 80-year-old Stan Grof laid down next to her and held her hand. She opened her eyes and looked at him like a new-born baby. She said, "The Universe is purple! Do you see it?" Stan, replied "No, but I'm glad you do." She went on to say, "No matter how much you give, it all comes back to you." It was beautiful to watch.

Everything Is Energy - LIVE

noreply@blogger.com (AF Grant) — Sat, 17 Sep 2011 05:14:00 +0000

Still riding high after an amazing week in Boulder, CO with David and Kristin Morelli and a few hundred other fantastic people. The Morelli’s hosted a 3-day event, Everything Is Energy LIVE, that Lori and I attended. A couple weeks before the event I felt called to serve as a volunteer, so with my extended hours and working through meal breaks I didn’t really get to see Lori much, but we both had quite a time. Not always good during it, but great by the end.

I ended up working on the video production side, which was pretty fun as that was my job for much of the 90’s. It also gave me lots of behind the scenes access to the whole event, the opportunity to be part of a great team lead by Robert MacPhee and let me be close to David and Kristin as I was responsible for getting the wireless mics on them – and that Kristin can be a tough one to wrangle. She once made it to the stage and was dancing before I could strap her in.

The volunteers were also responsible for holding the space, creating a safe place for growth and transformation while keeping the room grounded. Now, I’ve heard the term “holding space” tossed around for a while, but this was my first experience truly feeling it and it was powerful. The energy in that room was astounding. It was such a cool experience to have strangers compliment my space holding and say how much they enjoyed my energy. I made lots of great connections with attendees and my fellow coaches.

Aside from great teachings from Kristin and David the event featured guests, Dr. Alex Loyd of The Healing Codes, musician Robert Gass – who lead some of the most powerful meditations and truly had the place whipped into a frenzy with some chanting - and Gay Hendricks just making it under the wire after a missed flight.

There were many powerful meditations and exercises. I tried to keep an eye on Lori and sometimes knew we were thinking of the same thing during some couples work even when I couldn’t be next to her. There were lots of intense times that made the weekend feel like it was weeks long, none more so than speaking on stage about my past of depression and suicide attempts. It was very difficult yet rewarding at the same time, and it just melted my heart to see Lori in the audience looking back at me in tears. We’ve been through some major shit together and I’m so fortunate to have her in my life. Once the event ended and people streamed out of the room we found each other and just stood there locked in an embrace for quite a while.

Sunday afternoon was the graduation ceremony for my yearlong energy coaching program, Enwaken. A majority of the 100+ Enwakeners from around the world were in the room and we could feel the ones who didn’t make it anyway. We got to hear from Gay Hendricks again and we each said something about our journey on stage. All I remember is I was bawling. In fact, I’ve been in tears everyday since Labor Day. This has been quite a month. And quite a year. And quite a life.

We had the celebration rocking the lobby as one of the coaches, Dan, is an amazing singer and piano player. The hotel asked us to stop due to noise complaints and I realized the gym was open 24/7 so Dan grabbed his own keyboards from his car and we moved the party into the gym – even with a couple guys working out. It was all fun and games till someone got hurt, by my hand of course which has ended many a party in the past, but Tina can take a medicine ball to the face like a trooper and we sang and danced till 12:12am on Sept 12.

Monday kicked off another three-day event, the wrap-up of the Enwaken Leadership program, a special six-month program for leading groups. That was another wild ride with lots of breakdowns and breakthroughs.

I flew home on the red eye Wednesday night and now, Friday night, I’m at Kripalu in Lenox Ma for another round of Holotropic Breathwork tomorrow. I was at this very event a year ago, this time Lori has joined me. It was here last year that I first saw the burning heart image that is now tattooed on my arm. 95 people are here and we know five of them from prior breathwork, so that is really cool. I have no idea what’s left in me to come out after such an intense time in Boulder, the great part to that is that I have no expectations. That makes breathwork all the better.

No let up in the energy after this weekend. The Morelli’s annual 40 Days and 40 Nights program kicks off on Tuesday September 20^th. You can still join if you feel called. This was the program that first introduced me to David and Kristen about 2 ½ years ago. Our journey together isn’t over as I’ve been selected to be an apprentice and work with next year’s fresh batch of Enwaken students, so I’ll be back in Boulder again in November for the kick-off to that. And Lori will be with me once again, as she’s decided to take the Enwaken program herself. Gonna be another wild ride of a year.

Ceremony

noreply@blogger.com (AF Grant) — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 02:03:00 +0000

Roughly 24 hours ago I began my first ayahuasca ceremony. And it was indeed a ceremony, much more than merely drinking some ayahuasca. It simply was the most amazing night of my life. I'm going to attempt some descriptions but make no promises of anything making sense.

Setting the stage: Eight people lying in a circle in a quiet secluded house in upstate NY. One-by-one the shaman talks to each of us in private, giving us a gemstone (mine was citrine, which blew my mind because I recently ordered a citrine necklace) and asking if there was anything we wanted healed, had expectations for etc. I was surprisingly not nervous at all and had no expectations. I was ready for whatever I needed to happen. I was told to focus on the oneness, let the plant come into me, think of love and gratitude. Sweet, I thought, I can do that.

Back in the main room, each person kneels before the shaman and drinks a small cup of ayahuasca, then we sat quietly in the dark till it took effect. I had heard so much about how awful it tasted that I actually thought it tasted kind of good as I was prepared to be gagging. It tasted very earthy and organic. Like dirt and ash in a liquid. Yeah, I know sounds gross but somehow it didn't hit me that way. Over the next 30 minutes or so most of the circle laid down. I wasn't feeling much at all, only very slight sensations through my head and seeing shadows spread over the room. Some folks were almost immediately dry heaving and getting sick. At the 40 minute mark the shaman asked if anyone felt they needed to drink some more. I said yes, and that is when the fun kicked in.

I really have no sense of time from here on in, but pretty quickly laying down on my sleeping bag with my eyes closed I got sensations of vines or tentacles crawling down my throat and spreading throughout my body. It reminded me of a cheesy horror movie but it felt incredibly comforting and soothing. Then like a light switch was turned on I had images of tapestries/graphics, sort of a maze-like design, filling my head.

The ceremony had the shaman singing these amazing songs, icaros, that propelled me into other dimensions. I was sometimes aware of the room and other times on other planes of reality it seemed. And it was all with a tremendous amount of fun and joy. As the singing continued I could sometimes see streams of colors - the thoughts of the shaman - picking the next word to the song. I'd see the word come to vibrant life than leave a trail as others took it in. It was like emotional calligraphy in 3D. Then things turned into sort of a Technicolor, realer-than-3D version of the movie Avatar. The shaman's voice became the plants voice, the earth's voice, nature's voice. I was having spasms with my hands, shoulders, and feet. I was full of so much love and happiness I was going to burst and couldn't stay still.

You know the feeling after a Novocaine injection at the dentist, when for a few hours after the appointment half your mouth doesn't work? My whole body was like that. Feeling my limbs flop and my hands shake as fast as they could was so much fun. I was laughing hysterically in my head and smiling all night long. Sometimes my laughter would come out but because my tongue and lips weren't working well it would be guttural grunts and snorts that would then send me into absolute hysterics. That went on for hours and hours. I soared all over the place. Sometimes I was aware of the room, then of being connected to the two dogs roaming around the room, and jumping out my skin what a cat brushed against me. But it was a rapturous never-ending moment of joy and love that I simply couldn't contain. I was smashing my hands together like a seal trying to clap when I really liked things I heard or saw. The most repetitive thought I had was, I can't believe how much joy I feel. Life is so fucking AWESOME!!

After what I'm told was three hours the shaman said the ceremony is now over. I thought, are you kidding me? I'm zooming through a couple dozen dimensions here and when I do open my eyes I see a red and blue grid work on everything. Like I'm seeing the wire-frame version of life or everything was covered in graph paper. I kept going in and out of the room, taking on the mind of the dog, feeling the absolute in the moment joy that dogs seem to have in everything they do. I could sometimes here people laughing at my laughing, which made me laugh more. In the morning they told me sometimes the timing of my laughs into their conversations was amazing. I flopped and spasmed and slammed my hands against my chest while having occasional outbursts of laughter for many more hours. I'd sometimes hear Lori's voice and connect with her and feel so much love, it was just amazing. I have no idea how much longer anything lasted but everyone else was drumming and singing so that every time I thought I was coming in for a landing - a drum beat would resonate to my core and just fill full of bliss again - launching more snorting and laughing and flopping around on the floor. Eventually everyone around my seemed to fall asleep as I continued my magic carpet ride. It didn't feel finished until dawn.

It honestly was the most amazing experience I've ever had. I felt more fun, joy, happiness and love than I ever knew was possible. I'm told each ayahuasca experience is different, so since this was so perfect I'm feeling pretty content to leave it at one. Lori liked most parts of her experience, but did get sick initially.

Good times.

Update: 7/26/11Forgot to mention that one of the participants had a harmonium (which I'd never seen nor heard of before). She brought it out while everyone else was done but I was still zooming along so I didn't see it till the morning, (actually I wasn't even sure it was real or had only been music in my head). Cause, man, that music was as much of a drug as any substance. In my mind it was some giant circus calliope designed by Dr. Seuss. Then other times I was sure some Irish folk band was singing and dancing around me. I was positive people were looking down on me at one point, but the next day Lori said no such thing happened. The music and drumming resonated so deeply in my body and soul, it kept fueling me each time I thought the experience was winding down and I'd just drift off to sleep - the music kicked in, or perhaps I only noticed it again, and off I went into one of the dozens of dimensions I was bouncing around.

Some people have asked how I've felt since. Sunday I was spent. Barely there. Walking in the morning felt like walking on the moon. I was exhausted and dehydrated, somehow starving but not hungry enough to eat. Finally had a meal around 3pm.

I slept soundly and deeply Sunday night. Recall a few vivid flashes of what seemed like some ancient language from the night. I went for a five minute car ride and that was amazing. Every single sight and sound totally distracted me. I wanted to stop and meet every person I drove by. I don't know how Lori drove us home on Sunday, I couldn't have done it. Even today some sounds I hear stop me in my tracks because they seem to be coming from inside of me, not outside. Also some simple, automatic things like using the phone startle and confuse me, it is as if everything is brand new again. Even watching TV on Monday was wild - everything I watched was "the best show ever!"

Ayahuasca Weekend

noreply@blogger.com (AF Grant) — Sat, 23 Jul 2011 02:02:00 +0000

I love the synchronicities of the universe. When we visited Peru in 2006 our first flight to the Amazon was aborted due to bad weather. Lori and I found ourselves stranded at the airport in Lima with hundreds of other folks for many hours waiting for another flight. One young Peruvian man sitting next to Lori asked why we were visiting Peru and once he learned we were headed to the Amazon he said we had to try ayahuasca. Neither of us had ever heard of it but he kept saying we had to try it. It was some sort of hallucinogenic jungle juice made from some amazonian plants and vines that shaman brewed up and you went on some wild trip to find your animal spirit or some crazy shit. I asked how often he'd taken it. Never, he said and laughed. He'd never been out to the jungle but said if you are going you have to try it.

In our journeys we did meet a shaman and when I asked him about ayahuasca he produced a bottle of what looked like thick red wine. He let me hold it but our guide wouldn't let us try it. He said he would get in trouble letting tourists try it.

Years later I learned more about it and that it was part of a powerful ceremony of self exploration. There are vacations you can take to South America that are built around multiple days of drinking ayahuasca. I thought I'd only be able to try it if we returned to Peru, but about a year ago I met someone who was trained as a shaman in Peru and does ayahuasca ceremonies in the US. So this weekend Lori and I will finally be partaking of the ayahuasca experience. Until now the most amazing sort of self exploration trip I've had was with holotropic breathing, and I'm really looking forward to what goes down. We've been doing a cleansing diet since Wednesday; no processed foods, meat, sugar, salt, fat... The blander your diet the better the experience.

I did a little searching of experiences but after reading a few paragraphs I decided not to read more so I could go into the weekend without any expectations. I'm looking forward to whatever comes my way, and especially eating some good greasy, meaty food come Sunday.

Where Have I Been?

noreply@blogger.com (AF Grant) — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 20:56:00 +0000

Facebook and Twitter have really cut down how often I feel compelled to do longer posts, but for the sake of the billions of people I'm not connected with in social media - here's what's been going on.

I've been more active with videos and posts over on my book and suicide prevention site: SurvivingMyselfBook.com and actually had an interview on blog talk radio on Monday. You can check it out here.

Larry The Lizard continues to take the world by storm, Lori's been doing lots of readings of our book "The Globetrotting Adventures of Larry The Lizard: Larry in The Amazon" at area schools and libraries. Larry even went skydiving last weekend.

My Enwaken coaching program continues and has been amazing. I've launched a new website for my Energy Coaching and it has been going very well.

Have seen a few movies this summer, my favorites were "Bridesmaids", "Super8" and the final Harry Potter.

Not many concerts on tap this year. I did see KISS again last week. They played in Manchester, NH as part of their "lost cities" tour. It was really cool to see them in a small place, they couldn't do the full show with Gene and Paul flying around the arena and I didn't miss that one bit. I've never liked when one band member was off on some private stage. I prefer having the whole band together on stage together. I was shocked how much noise the small arena made, I'm pretty sure the place holds less than 10,000 and the show wasn't sold out. I had good seats, straight back from the stage a few rows up off the floor - perfect dead on view of the stage for the KISS spectacle. I don't know if it says more about New Hampshire or KISS, but most of the people in my section were huge and they weren't about to stand up for the show. I don't know how many hundreds of concerts I've been to over the years, but I don't sit down at shows. I hate sitting down for live music. But since I've seen KISS so many times, I gave it a try and it made it a completely new experience. I paid far more attention to the lights, the show, the crowd, and actually listening to the music instead of belting out they lyrics myself. It was a really good time, even if it made me feel old.

Holotropic Breathwork - March 19, 2011

noreply@blogger.com (AF Grant) — Sun, 20 Mar 2011 19:30:00 +0000

Yesterday was my fourth Holotropic Breathwork session and Lori's second. It was our first time with the Boston Holotropic group which made it close and convenient. If you aren't familiar with Holotropic Breathwork, it is a group process of deep accelerated breathing and loud evocative music that puts breathers into non-ordinary states of consciousness where amazing things can happen. I find it to be the most amazing, transformative, and healing experience I've ever come across. It allows for an inner journey, that often seems like a psychedelic trip, yet involves no drugs or alcohol. It is fueled solely by your own breath. The best instruction I heard this weekend was "Breathe until you are surprised."

You work in pairs, there is a breather and a sitter. A sessions goes for 2 - 3 hours then participants swap for a session later that day or sometimes the next day depending on the workshop. Yesterday was the first time Lori and I were partners. The first time, last December in Vermont, that Lori tried it we didn't want our relationship/involvement to effect the other person's experience so we partnered with other people. Now that we are wily veterans it felt fine to work together, and I'm so glad we did.

This weekend included a group of eight breathers at a time and Lori breathed first. It took roughly ten minutes until I was sure she was having an experience. She had a sleep mask covering her eyes and a blanket pulled up to her chin, so the only thing I could clearly see was her mouth. I've never seen such a beautiful sight. Her smile was almost blinding with joy. She rocked in place to the music and became very verbal and active with her arms. The first words I could make out were, "Fly, be free!" She seemed to be throwing things out into the air, then at times was playing with her own hair, tossing it all around having a grand time.

Soon it became clear she was having a full conversation with someone and laughing hysterically through out it. I knew, and she later confirmed, that she was talking to her dad (who passed away almost 29 years ago). She kept saying such things as, "I know, I know", "I will", "Uh huh", "all right", "ok"... and laughing like a loon the whole time. I had so much fun watching her and feeling the love and joy emanating from that smile. Her laughter filled the room and was infectious. As I made eye contact with other sitters and the facilitators wandering the room, they were all laughing too. I've never seen any breathwork experience like this before. I teased Lori earlier that this is supposed to be traumatic and healing, but she just keeps making it fun. She went overboard this time.

Watching my wife so full of love, life and joy was the most amazing experience for me. She's never looked more beautiful to me. A single tear of joy rolled down my face as I lay next to her. I felt like I was witnessing a miracle and I hope that feeling never fades.

Lori's Mandala

At times she sat fully up, laughing like a mad woman, saying "I know, I know", "ok, ok", "That's silly." She was reminiscing all sorts of stories and memories with her dad. Once I heard her say "That's f'd up", because she couldn't swear in front of her dad. She seemed to be having the time of her life and it was an honor to be in her presence. This lasted for over an hour then it slowly faded away and she got quiet and still with occasional bursts of physical movement. After about two hours and fifteen minutes she opened her eyes and was ready to stop.

My breathing session was in the afternoon and this one was unlike any other. My prior three experiences had a lot of tears, sobs and pain. This time... it seemed just like a really deep meditation. I felt very protected, blessed and that things were healing, yet there were very little visuals, I barely budged the entire time and I didn't have any vivid memories or experiences. At some points I wondered if I'd fallen asleep even. Then suddenly the music stopped and I thought, this can't be over not much than an hour could have passed yet. When I opened my eyes, there were no other breathers in the room and Lori was sitting by my side. She thought I went very deep and had quite an experience because I moved so little and she said there were multiple times it seemed I stopped breathing completely. Friday night the workshop leader mentioned something called "blue-lip bliss", a meditative state so deep that some people forget to breathe. That seemed to be where I ended up. I was very aware of the people, sounds and movement around me. I could tell others were having quite vivid experiences, people were screaming crying, pounding the floor... I did my best not to feel disappointed and just let whatever happens happen. I had a few visuals, like I was in some universal sized snow globe, protected and safe, the last thing I recall seeing was a gold crown, which made me laugh as it reminded me of Monty Python and the Hold Grail. It was like I was seeing my quest or something.

My Mandala

Anyway, I got up from my mat quite easily and went to draw my mandala, which was rather bland as I "saw" so little this time. The mandala is a little arts and crafts project you do after your breathing session. Before you even speak about what happened to anyone you put it on paper. It is another way to integrate your experience.

In the closing session someone said, "I've done a lot of drugs in my life, but nothing gets me high like this does." I couldn't agree more. If you like new experiences or are into personal exploration, you owe it to yourself to try Holotropic Breathwork. For those in the Boston area, there will be another session in Belmont in May. Visit Boston Holotropic for info.

Much more went on in my breathing session that I'm aware of because I slept for over 11 hours last night and have been overcome by tears a few times today, especially when I recall watching Lori.

Another Weekend in London

noreply@blogger.com (AF Grant) — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 00:53:00 +0000

We were in London, England from March 3 - 7th. This was our third short London trip and since we were both rather sick and didn't feel like doing very much, I'm glad it wasn't our first time there. We had a goal of seeing three things we hadn't seen before, Westminster Abbey, Churchill War Rooms, and the Tate Museum of Modern Art.

Westminster Abbey is something Lori had wanted to go to on earlier trips but I shunned it thinking it was boring. I'm glad to be wrong about that because the Abbey is very cool. We did the 90 minute guided tour which I highly recommend. I had no idea how much of English history the Abbey covers, and the guided tour lets you go places you aren't allowed to enter on your own. We walked over the graves of Newton, Darwin, Dickens, Faraday (LOST shoutout!) and thousands more. We also stood just feet from where Kings are coronated and where the Royal Wedding will happen next month. Now I'm actually interested in watching it. I never would have expected that! The first cabbie we had said "The only thing this country is still good at is putting on weddings and funerals." They all go down at the Abbey. On a prior trip we did a tour of the Tower of London which was far more interesting than I expected, too. Those are the two tours I recommend for London the most.

Plush Larry in London

The Churchill War Rooms were neat but a bit disappointing compared to my imagination. This is where WWII was run from and I expected it to be some deep bunker, but it was only a normal basement 10 feet below street level. It was mainly keeping the location such a secret that kept it from ever being bombed. Over time they reinforced it with steel and concrete, but I'm still amazed all the people that worked and lived there were so safe just 10 feet below the ground. The little details and first hand stories from the clerks and typists were fascinating.

Hanging at the palace gates

We left a Plush Larry the Lizard at the Buckingham Palace gates and watched from afar to see who had the nerve to take him home. Later we gave one to a little girl in a restaurant and she was ecstatic. Plush Larry is a big hit!

Our last full day we explored the Tate Museum of Modern Art. I thought I was pretty open minded, but lots of stuff here just made us laugh and shake our heads. Gabriel Orozco had some interesting stuff that was right up my alley, like painted skulls, and chopped up cars, but there was actually a display of dryer lint, and an empty shoe box. I'm not making this up. Check it out. Guards have to watch over the shoe box so nobody moves it or throws it away thinking it is a... shoe box. We finally gave up and left after gazing at a million fake sunflower seeds. Despite not "getting it" we both enjoyed the museum. Then before we realized it we were back home.

I have a Millionaire Mind!

noreply@blogger.com (AF Grant) — Wed, 02 Mar 2011 16:19:00 +0000

This past weekend Lori and I attended T. Harv Eker's Millionaire Mind Intensive in Boston and it totally rocked. It was a surprising mix of spirit, energy, and financial how-to's that we both resonated strongly with. Over three long, high-energy days, we (along with 400 others) sang, danced, cried, laughed, learned to take compliments, be excellent receivers, and once and for all proved to ourselves we are WICKED F'N WORTHY!!

We learned the easiest money management system in the world, simple stock strategies that would have saved me hundreds of thousands of dollars had I known them ten years ago, and concrete steps to take to be financially free. Plus there were many transformative exercises to recognize and eliminate blocks in our own thinking, discovering our financial blue print and changing it.

T. Harv Eker is the author of Secrets of the Millionaire Mind: Mastering the Inner Game of Wealth and has been running training programs for over 20 years. This was their first time in Boston and they are coming back in June they were so impressed. Plus the lead instructor, Adam Markel, is a UMass grad!

I can't recommend this program enough. You can even attend for free! Click here to see when Millionaire Mind Intensive will be near you and register now! I recommend going for the VIP package which is what Lori and I did, the amount of bonuses you get will blow you away. But if money is tight, take advantage of the free seat and learn all you can.

When you attend, you too will identify your money personality, discover whether money rules you or you rule money, and countless other powerful insights. More powerful than what you learn will be what you unlearn. The old programming that keeps from achieving all you want, financially and in life in general.

It is amazing what Peak Potentials is willing to do to prove the value of their courses. Their mission is "To educate and inspire people to live in their higher self based in courage, purpose and joy." Mine too. We signed up for a stock trading boot camp in June and a class on creating passive income streams in December.

Thank You, 2010

noreply@blogger.com (AF Grant) — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 22:52:00 +0000

2009 was certainly my year of outward exploration with multiple international trips. 2010 was the year of inward journeys that were equally, if not more, amazing. I love looking back on each year as it helps remind me of all the fantastic experiences I had and reignites my gratitude for them. The year was full of personal growth and kicked off with The PhilosophersNotes 50 Day Challenge and 40 Days Oneness Experiment. I continued meditating with Holosync on a daily basis (sometimes pushing myself to do it for up to 4 hours a day - I don't recommend that), saw some great movies, concerts (highlights included Lady Gaga, Roger Waters, Apocalyptica, and KISS), and my first Broadway show, Rock of Ages.

I attended two seminars with medium John Holland, one of which also included Dr. Brian Weiss talking about reincarnation. I got to see Bill Harris and Genpo Roshi live again, and was able to take part in Holotropic Breathwork twice, even getting to meet the creator of it all - Stanislov Groff. One of the standout moments was the Movers and Shakers weekend in April where not only did I truly get inspired to get serious on my memoir, made many great fiends, but also met the legendary Louise Hay.

In August, I announced to the world my intentions of writing my book, Surviving Myself, about my expereinces with depression and suicide. I launched a new blog http://www.survivingmyselfbook.com/ and shared personal thoughts and experiences which many people have resonated with. I completed my book proposal and got it into the hands of a few agents by the end of 2010. I worked as an extra on another movie and took a Voice Over class. Plus, between all this we did take two trips to Ireland this year! Wow, I forgot all about those. I'm such a spoiled world traveler that two long weekends in Ireland don't stand out in my memory. LOL.

What may prove to be the biggest decision of the year was signing up for a year long coaches training program with David Morelli in which I'm being trained to see and read energy. It has been nothing short of astounding so far. I'm often blown away by how spiritual I've become, especially after so many years of considering myself to be agnostic and even an atheist at times.

One thing has been even cooler than these experiences and learning about myself over the past year. That has been the truly amazing, new, life-long friends I've met at each and every event. This year has proven beyond all doubt; The more I share and serve, the better my life is.

I can't wait to see what 2011 has in store for us all.

Embedded in Energy

noreply@blogger.com (AF Grant) — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 23:11:00 +0000

Wow, long time no blog. I've been pretty busy the last couple months and I haven't bothered sharing it all here, so time to play catch-up. As September ended, Lori and I began a 40 day program of live meditations and coaching calls with David Morelli, called the Immersion Solution, which took us right through October.

The Immersion Solution transitioned into a year long coaching training program I'm part of with David, called Enwaken, which kicked off with a live event in Boulder, Colorado the first weekend of November. That event was truly life altering. Beyond meeting so many people in person I've known on-line, some for over a year, was the experiences David opened us to. The program is about learning to see and read energy, something I was itching to learn since I was first introduced to David early in 2009. Well, as is the case with many new things I try, on the morning of the second day of the event I hit my personal wall of fear and doubt. I thought, "this is pointless. I'm not getting it. Time to go home." About ten minutes after I wrote those thoughts down in my notebook, David asked me to step on stage to demonstrate where the chakras are located. One thing leads to another, and I'm on stage for over an hour having my aura read for all in attendance. As if that wasn't enough to blow my mind, by that afternoon all of the attendees were reading each other's auras and energy like we'd been doing it for years as opposed to minutes. I was very glad I stuck around. Now the program is in full gear with multiple two-hour calls a week plus as many practice sessions as I dare do. The insight, validation, discoveries and removal of blocks and limitations that this energy work makes possible is simply amazing. If all this "energy" talk makes you think I'm a nut, that's cool. It wasn't long ago that I would've thought the same thing. Whenever you decide you're open to it, you'll learn more about it. Or not. It's all good.

The last two months were also full of working on my book proposal and videos in support of suicide prevention at SurvivingMyselfBook.com, major changes for Larry The Lizard, more speeches with Toastmasters, a fantastic season for the New England Patriots, holidays, weddings, plus a day job that insists on some of my time (the nerve!).

And now I find myself in December. Man, this year seems to have gone by the quickest of any year in my life. This Friday, Lori and I are headed up to Vermont for a weekend of... no, not skiing. We'll be taking part in a Holotropic Breathwork workshop. This will be my third time and Lori's first. To say the least, it should be interesting.

Letting Go Of The Past

noreply@blogger.com (AF Grant) — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 16:09:00 +0000

Here is my latest video in support of my coming book, Surviving Myself: A Journey From Suicidal to Happy. I affectionately refer to this one as "Don't Hold On To Your Old Crap!"
You can catch up with any videos you may have missed over at SurvivingMyselfBook.com

The Holotropic Sequel

noreply@blogger.com (AF Grant) — Sat, 02 Oct 2010 16:42:00 +0000

It has been a week since my Holotropic Breathwork weekend at Kripalu and I'm finally ready to describe the experience, or at least try to. As I posted earlier, this was my second time doing breathwork and this round was as amazing as my first time, while being completely different.

Part of what made the weekend so cool was being able to hear directly from Stanislov Grof, a pioneer in transpersonal psychology, non-ordinary states and their healing potential, psychedelics research and about a dozen other things. He has written many books that you can dig into to learn about his research and experiences.

As for my experience; it began as all Holotropic Breathwork does, with me lying flat on my back on the floor in a large room with 100 other breathers and sitters. We are paired up, so each breather has a sitter to watch over them, then we switch in the afternoon. You simply breath deeper and faster than normal, keeping oxygen circulating through you, never pausing. They blast all sorts of cool tribal, mystical music for three hours and you just stay open to whatever happens.

Things started slow for me. I heard screams and sobs around me and a few songs into the session I wondered if I would feel anything except a nice, calm meditative state. I was sort of floating about blissfully. Then I had the weird urge to move and shimmy. In my first Holotropic experience I hadn't budged at all, so this was new. I squirmed left and right on my back and realized I couldn't separate my legs. I was a tadpole. I had this sense of swimming toward life. It was pleasant and fun. After a few minutes I felt arms grow but they seemed like blunt clubs only, I couldn't do much with them. Then these pulses of energy, like I was riding huge waves, swept through me. It felt like my spine was traveling along a roller coaster track, while at the same time I was in the world's strongest massage chair. My flesh felt like it was vibrating and being pulled back, as if I was leaving the launch pad headed into outer space. On the mat I'm twitching with leg kicks and surges of energy down my entire body. Next came this tremendous pressure all over me, something pushing in against me from all sides. It was strongest at my head. I was scared and I thought "I don't want to go through this alone." The pressure intensifies, my head feels like it is about to burst into flames. The fear increases, then I felt the presence of my wife, Lori. I want to reach out to her and hold her hand, but I can't move. I want a hug. That is when the tears start. She says - "You aren't alone."

Suddenly I'm relaxed. Completely at peace, feeling blissful, calm, and at one with everything. Then I'm unconscious. I don't recall anything until I realize I'm back in the room laying on my back breathing normally. The music is still going. I open my eyes and see people around me still breathing, wailing, even some up and dancing about. I'm a bit disappointed I didn't go for the whole three hours, but I feel so blissed out it doesn't matter after all. I look at Kevin who is sitting beside me and tell him, "I think I'm done." Later I learned that two hours had gone by, I thought it was only twenty minutes or so at the time.

One of the professional facilitators, John, comes over and says I still have plenty of time. He suggests I try breathing again and see what happens. I say OK and close my eyes once more.

A few moments into breathing I'm thinking nothing is going to happen because I'm trying, then I'm soaring in some out of body experience and I start laughing at how wrong I was about this being over. Suddenly, I'm crying - but with no sad thoughts or emotions behind it. I rock back and forth on the mat to comfort myself. I have no control over my body, but I feel full of love. I keep rocking and it feels great. I feel like I'm in some confined yet comforting place. I want to tell someone I want a hug. I can't speak. I can't move my arms. I cry. I sob and gasp for air laying on my back. I hear the music stop and I know it is time to be over. I slowly open my eyes and look around the room. I feel very out of it, not in my body yet. I cry a bit. I notice Stacia, a facilitator laying by my side on my left. Wow, I wonder how long she's been there, almost spooning me without my knowing. I look to my right at Kevin - it's like the warmest smile I've ever seen. I open my mouth to say something and start bawling. I'm crying on my back and can't breathe. I sit up to catch my breath. Now that air is flowing, the sobs and tears really come. But again, there is no emotion or thought, just this huge release of... energy? shit? I don't know. I'm on my knees, with my head in my hands on the mat sobbing. Seems like ten minutes of solid bawling. I'm now surrounded by Kevin, John and Stacia. Every time I think it's done I sit up, try to speak, and start crying again. Finally I'm able to spit out that my only thought was that I wanted a hug. I get lots of them.

I still feel like I'm not in my body, especially my arms, they are numb slabs. Kevin and Stacia work with me, holding my arms as I pull against them, to help me get some feeing again. I stand and feel like I'm walking on the moon. Over the next hour that fades away.

Mandala September 25, 2010

The next phase is drawing a Mandala of the experience. I try to make mine a depiction of all I can remember from the experience. My inner nursery schooler thrives, and my drawing looks like it was done by a four year old, but I like it.

It seems I had some sort of prenatal experience and was born again. I have felt PHENOMENAL all week. Each work day has even amazed me, everything feels brand new and vibrant. And every hug has been AWESOME.

I'm already signed up for another Holotropic weekend in December. This time Lori is joining me. Woohoo!

Holotropic Breathwork

noreply@blogger.com (AF Grant) — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 21:53:00 +0000

This weekend I'm doing a Holotropic Breathwork workshop at Kripalu Center in western Mass. This will be my first time going there, but not my first time doing Holotropic Breathwork. That was part of the Centerpointe Retreat I did in 2008 and was one of the most amazing things I've ever done. You can read up on the wild ride I had. I have no idea what to expect from the sequel, which is what makes it so exciting. Plus this workshop is being led by the doctor who developed it. Actually, thinking back to what I went through the first time - I hope I can drive myself home come Sunday.

Here is the description of the program:
This is a rare invitation to experience Holotropic Breathwork with Stanislav Grof. This practice, originated by Stanislav Grof and Christina Grof, allows direct access to your own inner healing wisdom. Through simple breathing, a specially designed musical journey, and a safe and supportive setting with trained facilitators, you experience a true non-ordinary state of consciousness, allowing deep self-exploration, personal transformation, and healing.

The weekend begins with a talk by Stanislav on the healing potential of non-ordinary states of consciousness and preparation for the breathwork that will take place on Saturday morning and afternoon. Sunday morning features small-group integration and large-group lecture and questions. In a breathwork session, your wisdom brings you a unique and ideal combination of experiences that can include aspects of your personal history, psychological death and rebirth, transpersonal interconnections, and the greater spiritual reality to which we all belong.

To top it all off, next Thursday we've got 9th row tickets for Roger Waters: The Wall. That show will put me into altered states regardless of what happens this weekend.

A Busy September

noreply@blogger.com (AF Grant) — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 14:00:00 +0000

A quick update on what I've been up to. September is a very busy month. I've launched the blog for my coming book, Surviving Myself, you can visit it at http://www.survivingmyselfbook.com/ and sign up to be notified when the book is ready. I'll be doing more video blog entries so keep your eyes peeled. Actually I need to add a subscription option so people who aren't RSS friendly can subscribe to posts, that is a common request.

Last month I took a class I've long been interested in, Voice-Over. Voice Over work is being the vocal talent for radio and TV ads. I've been told for years I should look into it, so I finally did last weekend in a two-day intensive with lots of hands-on work in a recording studio in Boston. It was a lot of fun and the professionals running the show said I do indeed have the voice, but I need be able to control it better so I can replicate the proper tones on demand. They also said I need to slow down - I hear that one a lot too. I'm not ready to look for work yet, but I enjoyed it and will take future classes and see where it leads. The instructor, VO pro Dorothy Gallagher, said I should experiment with different character voices because my natural fast speaking style is well suited to animation.

This week my full year of coaching and energy reading training with David Morelli kicks off with a 40 day long program of morning and evening live, group meditations with over 200 other people. Wooo Hooo!! Bring it on!

There are even some exciting new things coming for Larry The Lizard too. This year is rockin'!

Walk for Suicide Prevention

noreply@blogger.com (AF Grant) — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 01:51:00 +0000

This Saturday September 11, I'll be taking part in a 2.5 mile community walk to raise funds and awareness for suicide prevention. The funds will go to See A New Sun (SANS) Foundation, which among other things distributes Signs of Suicide (SOS) kits to middle and high schools across Massachusetts. SANS also sponsors a survivors of suicide support group that I've been attending for the last year. You can learn more about SANS at http://4sans.org/.

If you would like to make a pledge, email me at afgrant@hotmail.com and I'll give you the details on how to make a donation.

You can learn more about my involvement with suicide prevention at http://www.survivingmyselfbook.com/. Thanks.

Surviving Myself - A Journey from Suicidal to Happy

noreply@blogger.com (AF Grant) — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 18:52:00 +0000

In case you haven't heard, I'm officially letting the world know that I'm writing a book. I'll be updating my progress at http://www.survivingmyselfbook.com/ and you can sign up to be notified when the book is ready. Thanks for your support!

Apocalyptica = Amazing!

noreply@blogger.com (AF Grant) — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 17:57:00 +0000

Apocalyptica shreds it up in Boston

Lori and I saw Apocalyptica Thursday night, August 26, 2010 at the Royale in Boston. This wasn't just another rock show. This was something else; something unique, powerful and simply amazing to all my senses. Apocalyptica is made up of four classically trained cellists from Finland. Sometimes all four are on cello, but usually one plays drums. Their first release, Four Cellos Play Metallica, back in 1996 was an album of nothing but Metallica covers. That won me over for life and was featured at our wedding in 1997. Since then they've expanded to original instrumentals and even feature guest vocalists for a few songs on each new release. There latest album is 7th Symphony and it is magnificent.

I didn't even realize they were a touring band until a couple years ago, and I was drooling at the chance to see them live. They did not disappoint. In fact, it was one of the best concerts I've ever seen. I was stunned by their energy and movement all over the stage. These guys ran all over the place with their cellos just like any other band with guitars. There was so much head banging and cheering, yet such a unique and haunting sound. I still remember the first moment I heard a cello string played while the crew set up the stage, it had such a different resonance down to my bones. Visually, they look like a metal band with their long hair flying all around, crazed solos, and pure high-energy fun. They took a brief interlude to play "proper" cello music, all of them taking seats and playing some beautiful string arrangements. The raucous crowd simply stood in silence, watching and listening with such awe, it was surprisingly moving. After a night of heavy metal cellos including Metallica covers; Wherever I May Roam, Master of Puppets and Seek and Destroy, they closed with a classical nugget from 1874, In The Hall of The Mountain King. It was the most profound rock show I could imagine, and is a sight not to be missed.

Apocalypica - August 26,2010

It was a true multicultural night, as the openers were Japanese metal band, Dir En Grey. I couldn't decide what language they were singing in, but somehow I liked it anyway. The singer had a range from deep demonic wails to high pitched sounds like dolphins crying. This summer has been the best luck I've ever had with enjoying opening bands that I'd never heard of. Even Lori was digging some Japanese death metal.

There are lots of clips of Apocalyptica on YouTube if you've never heard of them.

J. Geils Band and Aerosmith Rock Fenway Park

noreply@blogger.com (AF Grant) — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 12:58:00 +0000

I've seen both bands before, but it's been about 25 years for J. Geils Band and 15 for Aerosmith, and this was my first concert at Fenway Park, so I knew that alone would make August 14, 2010 a special show.

J. Geils band was preceded by a full marching band entering the stage single file and playing "Centerfold", then they left (which took quite some time) and the real band took the stage. They looked and sounded great, and seemed to be having a fantastic time - I don't know why these guys don't still tour. Peter Wolf was in great form - his voice, moves and stage raps don't give away his age, though he does look a bit more freakish these days. Plus Magic Dick still has most of his hair - nobody rocks the white man afro or the harmonica like him! They were even joined by their longtime touring horns - The Up Town Horns.

Geils set included (I know I'm missing some): "First I Look At The Purse", "Hard Drivin Man", "Night Time", "Southside Shuffle", "Freeze Frame", "Give It to Me," "Detroit Breakdown", "Love Stinks", "Musta Got Lost", "Looking For a Love", "House Party", "Whammer Jammer", "Centerfold". It was an upbeat, high-energy, foot-tapping, ass-shaking show. Wolf went out into the crowd multiple times. They really made the most out of their time on stage. I can't say the same for the next band.

Aerosmith started with a video narrated by Dennis Leary which encapsulated their career in terms of baseball - such as when Joe Perry was traded to the Cardinals. It was pretty funny, then the real show started with "Train Kept A Rollin'". The set sagged a bit for me as it concentrated on more recent pop hits, but highlights came with "Last Child", "Come Together" and a strong ending of classics. The low point was probably Joe Perry's lame guitar duel with his Guitar Hero self on screen. Felt like nothing but a commercial to me.

One bummer about Fenway is how a great baseball seat puts you very far away from the stage which is setup in deep center field. Also the volume is so low that anyone talking in the crowd around you can be heard over the band -- that never happens at true concert venues.

The climax for Aerosmith was the encore. Steven Tyler appeared on top of the Green Monster at a white baby grand piano for an amazing version of "Dream On". It was a peak moment to be singing that song along with 38,000 other fans at Fenway. He then ran back to the stage for the final song, "Walk This Way".

The surprise of the night was that there was no final jam welcoming some of the J. Geils Band. Steven Tyler had been saying for months what a fan of Peter Wolf he was, but they never appeared together. I would have bet anything that somebody was going to cover "Dirty Water." Sunday, The Boston Globe and Herald both reported a heated argument between Wolf and Tyler at Fenway the night before the show. Tyler reportedly told Wolf not to use the stage ramp that goes out into the crowd. They argued over that and Tyler finally relented, but that seemed to kill any thought of doing something together.

I gotta say J. Geils won the night. Most fans I've heard from were disappointed in Aerosmith, mainly that the set did nothing special for such a cool homecoming night. Aside from the piano on the green monster, this was the same set list they've been on tour with. And if I was just to read body language - Steven Tyler and the rest of the band are far from friends, but without Tyler they've got no energy live.

I'd see J. Geils again in a heart beat, but Aerosmith seems to be flying on autopilot.

Aerosmith Set
01. Train Kept A Rollin'
02. Love In An Elevator
03. Falling In Love (Is Hard On The Knees)
04. Livin' On The Edge
05. What It Takes
06. Pink -- (I was regretting being there by this point)
07. Last Child
08. Cryin'
09. Rag Doll
--Guitar Hero Joe-- (DUMB)
10. Stop Messin' Around-- (with Joe's sons Tony & Adrian Perry. Nice for him, boring for us.)
11. I Don't Want To Miss A Thing -- (This song makes me want to puke most of the time, but luckily a couple drunk guys in front of me serenaded each other. More entertaining than the actual song.)
12. Come Together
13. Sweet Emotion
14. Baby Please Don't Go
15. Draw The Line
Encore:
16. Dream On (atop the Green Monster! COOL)
17. Walk This Way

See what the Globe thought, and the Herald.

KISS: Still The Hottest Band in the Land

noreply@blogger.com (AF Grant) — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 15:58:00 +0000

The current KISS tour is called "The Hottest Show On Earth," and it literally is. From the opening pyro blasts as Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, and Tommy Thayer descend to the stage over Eric Singer's drum kit on Saturday night, I could not only feel the heat, but I could taste the flames down my throat. The people in front me flinched at every bomb blast all night long, and while I've never bothered with ear plugs, even I had to block my ears for the show-ending barrage of seemingly non-stop explosions. In other words; an AWESOME show.

We had great seats; 20th row on Gene's side of the stage. It was a fantastic crowd too. The Comcast Center was the fullest I've seen it in a few years, and lots of people were in makeup. There were a few outstanding costumes too, including a perfect Eric Carr in our section. The age range in the audience was the widest I've ever seen; five to infinity. There were a couple of the oldest women I've ever seen at a show. I would have been surprised to see them at a movie, let alone a rock concert. All hunched over and barely moving, but one of them moved all the way down to her seat in the fourth row. Sick!

All the long established KISS theatrics were included; blood, fire, flying... and some new tricks including a bazooka. As expected, the band sounded great and this probably is the best version of the band in terms of musicianship. Paul's voice sounded a bit hoarse at times, not sure if was the sound of age, or an off night. There was one awkward moment at the end of "Black Diamond", after an extended finish timed to bomb blasts, the band stood in mid bow for a few moments, seemingly waiting for one big pyro cue. It never came and they eventually stood up and played a final chord. Looking forward to seeing them again on August 19 in Connecticut to verify whether that was a mistake or not. The set was a good mix of tunes from all the various KISS eras.

The show included a couple new musical tweaks, including Paul performing a good portion of Led Zeppelin's "Whole Lotta Love" during the intro to "Black Diamond," and the entire band playing a segment of the Who's "Won't Get Fooled Again" during "Lick it Up." This tour also features an epic six song encore, which is so much better than bands going on and off stage wasting everyone's time.

Ode To KISS

noreply@blogger.com (AF Grant) — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 18:21:00 +0000

Tonight I'll be seeing KISS for the... wow, I've lost track of how many times I've seen them, but tonight will make them the first band I've seen in five different decades; the 70's, 80's, 90's, 00's and now the 10's. This is an incarnation of the band I swore I wouldn't see and I've resisted all the tours since the "Farewell Tour" wrapped up in 2000.

I can still remember the first time I was introduced to KISS. I was in the fourth grade and someone brought "KISS Alive" to school and I was enthralled. I loved all the crazy rumors; Ace really was from space, Gene had a cow's tongue surgically attached to his own... Everyone I knew was a KISS fan when "Destroyer" was out and "Rock and Roll Over" was the first album that I knew the release date for and bought as soon as possible. KISS was my first concert (thanks Dad!), first poster, rock magazine, first music my parents didn't like... I fondly recall being amazed by the Paul Lynde Halloween TV special that featured KISS, then being horrified seeing them a few years later on the Tomorrow Show - Ace was wasted and had such a freaky voice, as did Paul, they didn't sound like the super humans they were in my mind. Years later, meeting them shattered the last of my childhood fantasies. I discovered Gene was quite an ass, and I was close enough to Paul to see the crotch pillow he crams down his pants -- that is an image seared into my brain forever no matter how much I want to forget it. But still the music and the emotion it brings back for me, make me unable to stay away for long (from the music that is, not Paul's crotch).

For those who aren't aware, today's KISS lineup does not include original members Peter Criss and Ace Frehley, but rather has people performing in their makeup. When I first saw KISS as a wee lad in 1978, one of my biggest fears was not really knowing if it was them or not. I worried that they would put anyone off the street in the makeup and costumes. Perhaps different fake Kiss's perform all over the world? How could I be sure this was Gene, Paul, Peter and Ace? Happily, I was close enough to the stage to see and believe it was indeed the four iconic rockers I worshiped. But that worry, that feeling that this is a trick, has made me skip the many tours Gene and Paul have cooked up since 2001 with drummer Eric Singer and lead guitarist Tommy Thayer playing the Peter and Ace roles. Eric was actually in KISS for a while in the 90's when they toured without makeup and Tommy was their road manager on the reunion tour. It was even his job to reteach Ace his own guitar solos.

I've wondered for the last few years, how many fans in the audience think they are seeing Peter and Ace? Do people chant Ace's name or Tommy's? Eric is now even singing Peter Criss's "Beth" -- that still reeks of blasphemy, but I will not judge until I see it. I've accepted that this may indeed be the best incarnation of the band in terms of musicianship. Peter and Ace often had problems playing live night after night due to medical and substance abuse issues, so I'm expecting to see a KISS that has never sounded better, plus they are playing some new songs off "Sonic Boom" that I've never heard live and plenty of old ones I haven't heard in quite a long time. They are even planning another new album early next year. Quite a change for band that seems to have more repackaged greatest hits collections than Elvis. Perhaps I'll be seeing them in a sixth decade too? Stranger things have happened.

Report from Evening with John Holland

noreply@blogger.com (AF Grant) — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 02:16:00 +0000

Thursday night was the second time we've seen psychic/medium John Holland in four months, which is pretty wild since five months ago I had no idea who he was. We first saw him back in March as part of a double bill with Dr.Brian Weiss - check out that report. He was so entertaining we decided to catch him again as he was nearby in Manchester, New Hampshire.

John doesn't do fortune telling or future reading, rather he connects with the spirits of people who have died (though he says nobody really dies, they just leave the physical form) and passes on messages. He sees images in his mind and translates them to communicate with us here and others on the "other side." He doesn't choose who to talk to, but rather spirits who want to communicate come to him.

We were in a hotel banquet room with a few hundred other people and John begins with a funny speech about his own history and experiences. He uses a lot of humor to raise the energy of the room. Then he starts his readings. He calls out a name or a scene and says where in the room the energy is, then whoever thinks the message is for them stands up. In one case he had the spirit of a female who missed a wedding. A woman stood up whose mother had died and couldn't be at her wedding. The message from her mom was that she was indeed there, saw it all, and was proud of her daughter. Turns out the daughter wore her mom's dress.

Another one was the spirit of a gruff father who came forward to tell his son he loved him because he never said it when he was alive. The son was blown away. The spirit also congratulated him on being a dad, but the son said he didn't have any kids. Then the woman next to him shoves him and he recalls that his girlfriend is six months pregnant, d'oh! The father's spirit joked to him that you know I'd never be caught dead at something like this, but here I am!

The spirits pass on little things to John, to prove he's really connected with them. Inside jokes or stories that only the family member can verify, which they usually verified via tears or laughter. One of the wildest moments was when John was looking for someone who knew a Wilma, quite a rare name outside of The Flintstones. A woman stood and said Wilma was the name of her son's dog - her dead son's dog. When he was alive his mom joked that if you come back with a message you better mention Wilma so I know it's you. Whoa! Then John said he felt like the dog and her son were on top of each other somehow. She explained that the dogs ashes were put on top of her son's coffin and buried. The whole room gasped. That is the sort of wild drama that pulled me back to see John again. Regardless of what you might believe, the amount of jaw dropping emotion is worth the price of admission. I didn't go into this wanting to communicate with any spirits, but rather for the thrill of seeing it happen for others.

One more hilarious thing stood out. John was talking to the spirit of a father whose daughter was in the crowd. His final message was, "Tell your husband most people pay for their Christmas trees." The woman and her friends buckled over in laughter. John told them they had to fill us all in. Well, each year her husband goes out and cuts down a Christmas tree from wherever he sees a good one, never paying, just plucking them from the wild.

The spirits on the other side want you to know they are fine and most of all, they want us to be happy. So thanks, Spirits, I am happy.