Hit Me Baby No More Times

Good Lord! Just saw the latest music reality show, NBC's "Hit Me Baby One More Time" where 80s bands battle each other with their one big hit in front of a live audience and one makes it through to.. to.. I don't know what. Why did I tune in to any show bringing back crap like Tiffany, Billy Ray Cyrus and Vanilla Ice? Well they also have The Knack and Flock of Seagulls - two of the very best one-hit wonders there are (My Sharona and I Ran respectively), plus - Loverboy! Yes, I'm a closet Loverboy fan. Always have, always will be. Saw them live at least six times in the 80s, they were one of the very first concerts I went to alone. Got dropped off before I had a license to see them play with some new guy called Huey Lewis opening. How did Loverboy end up in this has-been festival? They have tons of hit songs. Well, I just saw Loverboy perform and all I want to know is what sort of elephantitis has hit lead singer Mike Reno? His head and torso have ballooned to inhuman proportions. I now support a mandatory retirement age for all rock stars -- just imagine how many KISS farewell tours we would have been saved from if such a policy was in effect.