Saturday was my fifth experience with Holotropic Breathwork, the fourth time in the past year, and the second time Lori and I teamed up as partners. Once again it was unlike any prior time. I fell into a very deep meditative state even before the music and breathing was supposed to start. Suddenly I found myself laying on my mat, realizing the tribal music was cranking and I needed to get breath fast and deep. I had no idea how much time had passed and I thought "Oh no! I'm missing it." This went on a few times, I thought I wasn't getting much out of it. I had very few conscious memories or experiences. I was either in the room thinking I was missing it or I was in some zone so deep I got no "story" from it. I remember laughing out loud a few times at my thoughts that I wasn't getting anything - some part of me knew better. A few times when the bass of the music had the floor vibrating it felt like every cell of mine was vibrating and ascending. As I floated above into some golden dimension, I took one step forward and completely lost my balance and "landed" back on the mat, in the room, with the music cranking and people breathing and wailing around me. I laughed again. I felt like, ah you think you are ready for this enlightenment? Think again kid! I was considering opening my eyes with a disapointed feeling when the music stopped. Three hours had gone by - wow. Yesterday I felt out of it, wondering what was I integrating since I didn't have much memory of things happening. But today I woke up feeling so ALIVE, so AWESOME that I declared it to be Totally Awesome To Be Alive Day.
Lori enjoyed her experience and looked gorgeous as she went on her ride. She was doing all sorts of cool motions with her hands, sort of a mix of sculpting and dancing at times. She sat up on a number of occasions and it took all my control not to wrap her up in a hug. Her session ended really cool as the creator of this process and a founding father of Transpersonal Psychology, 80-year-old Stan Grof laid down next to her and held her hand. She opened her eyes and looked at him like a new-born baby. She said, "The Universe is purple! Do you see it?" Stan, replied "No, but I'm glad you do." She went on to say, "No matter how much you give, it all comes back to you." It was beautiful to watch.