Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Creating Absolute Wealth with James Ray

Lori and AFWe've been home for a week from Creating Absolute Wealth with James Ray. It was a week of learning and a lifetime of lessons crammed into three days in San Diego at the end of July. I'm still trying to comprehend and integrate everything I learned. It's been tough, because I didn't like everything I discovered about myself. I found lots of limiting beliefs that keep me playing life small and I'm struggling to rid myself of them.
I won't go into details about the event, because hopefully you'll end up there yourself. I thought it was going to be about how to attract more money into my life - but it was so much more, because true wealth is so much more than money. CAW is very immersive and experiential. What each person gets from it is just what they need, but the surprise of each game and road trip (this is not about sitting in a hotel ball room for lectures) is of tremendous value. How you are in any game, is how you show up in life. I really love going into these sort of things blind - having no clue what might happen but knowing it will all be good. That was seriously put to the test over the entire weekend. There were multiple times I just wanted to run away. Lori said she saw the panic in my face numerous times - but I stayed and played as full-on as I could, with the help of James' fantastic staff. There was also plenty of fun and good times along the way. Our table even won the "jingle" contest one night. We had to write and perform a song about the weekend. The event ended with a great black tie affair and everyone dancing late into the night.
One detail I can share is something I witnessed which certainly proved to be the lowlight/highlight. I was wandering around San Diego alone, wondering what I was going get from the weekend; what did I need to learn most? I spotted a woman standing outside the railing of a balcony on the third level at a mall. I thought it was some sort of stunt because ComicCon was going on. She jumped. It wasn't a stunt. I was the only witness who had the vantage point to know it was intentional. I gave statements to the police and mall security. If you know anything about me, you know suicide is about the biggest button I have to push. Later, I found myself standing where she jumped from, it had only been about a half-hour but the blood stained concrete was cleaned up and the t-shirt kiosk the woman landed on was once again selling "I Love San Diego" shirts to tourists. It was so surreal to see how quickly life moves on.
I couldn't understand why she would do it. Why anyone would do. And I cried. Tears of joy - joy for being alive. That was HUGE for me. And while standing there, I noticed Lori walk into the scene below - first time I've seen her all day. Very wild. In fact all weekend, starting at the airport in Boston, people were commenting about what a great couple we were, how cute we were together, how much in love we were.... it was like I was trapped in some bad romantic comedy.
The whole weekend was horrible and fantastic at the same time. A real roller coaster of tears and laughs. But I'm so glad I went and wish you the same opportunity. If you aren't growing, you're dying. Grateful
One of my favorite lines from the weekend is: "It is more noble to imperfectly pursue your own dreams and passions than to perfectly pursue someone else's."
One thing I decided on at CAW was my first tattoo, and I acted on that this past weekend. "Grateful" - so I never forget.
We flew home last Monday and had AC/DC tickets for Gillette Stadium on Tuesday. My head was spinning so much, and the nights of 3-4 hours of sleep was wearing on me. I thought of blowing it off. But we went ,and it was fantastic! Just what we needed. Feeling very jet-set and wealthy indeed.
We have another event with James, "Quantum Leap", in November. And once again, I have no idea what's in store for us.


Jamie M Eastman said...

Hey Andy :)

Congrats on all the uncomfortable and uplifting growth! In my experience, it always leaves me in a state of bewildered bliss followed by a high state of clarity... at least until the next growth hot on the trail!

AS for your close encounter with suicide... though I have not seen it directly, I was on the phone with my mother two states away after she had slit her wrists and over dosed on Valium until her voice faded away and she hung up.... terrifying. Honestly, because she'd had SUCH a hard life, I didn't know whether to pray for her to stay for selfish reasons, or go for her own peace. For 15-20 minutes I agonized, quaking with tears over this before I heard from my sister that the ambulance had arrived and she would be fine. I was SO thankful we had two phone lines....
Such things definitely make you appreciate every moment!

With Love

Sheila Viers | Live Well 360° said...

Thank you so much for your heartfelt blog post. It WAS an amazing weekend, full of growth, self-discovery, and self-love... See you at Quantum Leap!


AL said...

AF- Thank you for taking me along on your globetrotting travels. I have been to Kenya many times in my mind; I can't wait to see it for real!

It sounds like you had an amazing weekend, one of trial and triumph.
No worries, we all have those less than productive days. (I file mine under "research"!)

I am both sorry and glad that God chose you to witness the end of this woman's life. Try to remember that this marked the beginning of a new one - for both of you. If there is one person I know who can make every day count, it's YOU!

Salty Droid said...

I'm going to find out what happened to Colleen at all costs.

Can anyone help me?


Anonymous said...

I believe the suicide you saw was a memeber of your own James Ray Group. Colleen Marian Conaway kills self @JamesARay event in July http://tiny.cc/HQFel

In light of the most recent sweat lodge deaths (2) and injuries (19)at Ray's Spiritual Warrior retreat, I think people are curious as to whether you knew the woman who jumped was with your group and if not, why it wasn't mentioned??

Anonymous said...

Yavapai County Sheriff's Office would like all participants who have knowledge of the Spiritual Warrior seminar at Angel Valley Retreat, or who have experienced something similar, to contact the Yavapai County Sheriff's Office by e-mail at www.ycsoaz.gov or Yavapai Silent Witness 1-800-939-3232.

Please contact them and tell them your eyewitness account from CAW.

AF Grant said...

I had no idea who the woman was until I read the links posted here. I searched San Diego newspaper and police websites when I got home for info on her, but never found anything. I'm now certain it was indeed Colleen.

I wonder if anyone with James Ray even realizes she was part of the seminar? I spoke to many staff members that day about what I saw, even James himself. It seems the seminar was over before she was identified - which makes complete sense because none of us had ID on us that Saturday afternoon. All CAW participants were roaming around downtown San Diego alone that afternoon. A security guard at the mall told me the jumper left her daughter behind on the balcony (that must have just been a bad rumor) but was one of many reasons why it never even dawned on me that should could have been part of our group.

I do not doubt that it was a suicide, but the fact that she was part of the seminar is certainly disturbing.

I'm sorry for your loss. I honestly had no idea who she was.

Anonymous said...

I believe James Ray had complete knowledge of this incident the afternoon it happened. It may take extensive interviews by police of the full time James Ray staff, at the time of the incident, to established the level of denial being exhibited.

Further I see the actions and behavior of James Ray in this instance (at Creating Absolute Wealth) consistent with his behavior following events at Spiritual Warrior in Sedona, Az.

In my opinion, James Ray is accountable, directly or indirectly, for the deaths of now 4 people.

John Samuels said...

I am confused Mr Grant. You state:

"I’m already exchanging emails with eight people I met there. You tend to make friends fast when you’re hugging, giving back rubs and even butt rubs to your neighbors over two very long days."

Yet could not recognize that the woman who fell was a fellow participant at your seminar?

Moreover, have you contacted the authorities with your eyewitness account? If not, WHY?

AF Grant said...

There were about 300 participants at CAW. I did not meet them all.
And yes, the authorities have my statements.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Grant,
I appreciate that you did not correlate the woman who jumped with someone in your group, but I'm curious whether upon reflection, you are now reconsidering joining James Ray for that seminar in November?

It seems almost impossible that NO ONE would have noticed this woman's absence, especially the 'buddy' she was supposed to be with. Which leads one to believe that JR would have learned of this through his staff or attendees and hushed it up. Not a good sign of character.

Speaking of character, if your father or sister or mother had been one of the deaths at the sweat lodge, how would you feel about Mr. Ray's actions since then? He speaks of you all being 'family'--is that any way to treat family?

I truly hope you have more integrity than Mr. Ray and have called (or will call) the authorities in AZ to speak to them (now) about this incident. I know you spoke to the police when it happened, but they're looking for people's help now. Do the right thing.

Anonymous said...

I'm confused. You originally tweeted that "Today with James Ray: wallets, phone, id taken and we put on old clothes to wander San Diego as homeless."

When you gave your statements? Were you also stripped of your ID and proper clothing?

Did the police take your statements without your ID present?

Wouldnt this have allowed you to realize this women was likely a part of the group?

This James Ray story stinks to high heaven.

Angie Gaines said...

A lot of people are pointing fingers and getting upset with James Ray and the things that have transpired. The lady in San Diego was out on her own for over several hours! Yes it is possible that AF Grant would not know that she was in his group. No one was in there regular clothes and it is easy to not pay attetion to all who are in a seminar.

This is an unfortunate suicide by someone who was lost and looking for help but did not find it! That can not be the resposiblity of James Ray or people taking the course with her; unless she point blank told them she was is this frame of mind. We all have issues and thought processes which may not be the best.

This person was not in a good place with herself or life and no one can be blamed for that! She is the only person who can step up to that!

Anyone who has gone to a James Ray course should know that you push yourself to do things you did not think you could do but never have I seen anyone forced to do this out of their on will?!! Maybe the sweat lodge went badly wrong? I was not there and only hope they can find out what happened. Everyone of those people knew what they where getting into and had the ability to remove themselves if that was what they wanted to do. So many times in life people are looking to blame someone or something else for the misfortoune and bad things in life. When maybe if they take a look at what they did that could have caused the outcome of what ever it may be! To often we do not take responiblity for the consequences of our actions!!!!!!

Salty Droid said...

I'll tell you something "Angie Gaines" :: That is the comment of a professional stooge. Of a maggot who sees life and death as a matter of PR.

I promise you this minion of darkness :: Once all the smoke about James Ray himself clears :: I will still be here punishing those who battled to obscure the truth after lives had been lost.

Do not speak of the dead as though you know them :: As though you know anything other sucking and sucking and sucking.

Sin no more Angie Gaines. Sin no more.

Anonymous said...

AF Grant, thank you saying that you were there when Colleen jumped, that does bring some comfort to those of us who knew her. I just wish you could of been closer and stopped her. I also appreciate you going to the police, please help them however you can.

Angie, I know from reading everyones comments that at each of these functions people get pushed to levels they never thought possible. I can only imagine what was going through her mind. She was in a good place in her life and we will never know why she jumped off that ledge. She thought that James Ray was the cat's ask!! This was the 4th class she attended of his. She was all about the positive thinking and was talking of starting her own business, so how in the sam he@@ does one go from that state of mind to thinking that I need to jump off a ledge and kill myself. That is something we will never know but can only think that it had something to do with the CAW seminar she was attending.

If anyone was suppose to be her buddy please put a comment out here, I would really like to know how you get left behind if your suppose to have a buddy and not leave without them.

Anonymous said...


What a post. Seriously.

Have you read the eye-witness accounts from the James Ray Event?

One - The didn't know going forward there would be a sweat lodge (after sleep and water deprivation)

Two - read the reports of people inside. He wouldn't let people out. He's going to burn for this.

Three - Maybye the sweat lodge went badly wrong? (followed by a question mark) Are you that fucking dumb? MAYBE? It went wrong? 3 died and many more could have died.

Did you know Colleen actually paid to be at that event in Sedona (and her money was never refunded) That is WRONG. THAT deserves a question mark.

Unknown said...

Hey, you stole my tattoo. I was sitting with you on the bus in San Diego and I have that tattoo on my left wrist. That weekend was very good and it has been a very interesting turn of events since.